Question

Как написать письмо Тибальту («Ромео и Джульета»)?

Уильям Шекспир "Ромео и Джульета"

Как написать письмо Тибальту, выразив свое отношение к его поступку?

Answer 1

Я так понимаю, Тибальт был итальянцем, раз проживал в Вероне практически по соседству с семьей Капулетти. Но с итальянским языком я меня не очень (правильнее будет сказать: совсем никак). Посему пишем письмо на английском. Ведь вся трагедийная поэма написана именно на этом языке. Хотя современный английский несколько отличается от шекспировского, думаю, что покойничек Тибальт (или его дух) поймёт. Хотя не вижу особого смысла писать Тибальту обвинительно-обличительное письмо, Ромео его уже и так замочил на дуэли из мести за Меркуцио. Исправить можно поведение живого, а не жмура, который лежит на кладбище вот уже около 4-х веков.

Итак, письмо Тибальту с этого света на тот:

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Dear Tybalt!

I understand, that you have been resting in the afterlife for a long time. You are most likely in hell. In any case, if Shakespeare had decided to write a sequel to the tragedy "Romeo and Juliet", he would have sent you straight to hell.

Since in hell you are already not sweet, I will not finish off the suffering one completely. Moreover, it is not a fact that you existed at all. Most likely Shakespeare invented you. And not only you.

Nevertheless, I still have a couple of questions for you that will remain unanswered:

1. Why you tried to seek a girl who had never loved you and would't love?
2. In the XVI century, I understand it was normal to marry your cousins. But let's face it: you were trying to persuade an innocent girl to commit incest. You are a pervert. In Verona, and without Juliet, there were many beautiful noble ladies. Why are you fixated on one Juliet?
3. How did Mercutio stop you? This guy was my favorite hero, and you killed him with cold blood, but without remorse.
4. Why did you get involve in the conflict between Montague and Capulet? I understand that the two old farts didn’t share something. Insanity and dementia overshadowed their mind and covered their eyes.
5. What wrong did Romeo for to you? What were your personal scores with him? It's not Romeo's fault that Juliet has chosen him. And you yourself, telling the truth, were not going to marry Juliet for love, but for the sake of her status and dowry.
6. You, as an adult guy, intervening in the process, had to put an end to the long-term enmity between two respected families. And you only aggravated everything. And they killed their bride, and glued the flippers himself.

In a word, Tybalt, I am extremely unsympathetic to you. Your behavior is disgusting. So return to hell where you're now!